BROOKLYN, N.Y. -- A mob grew around the stage before the start of the Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest. Rollercoasters rattled in the distance as dancers flailed to the bounce of DJ-driven funk and reggae. Fans of competitive eating smacked green and yellow inflatable thundersticks above their heads, waiting for the action to start. Three cops leaned against a fence and eyed the swelling horde, their attention split between a heated drunk looking for trouble and a small group of tan women in scant bikinis. A man dressed as Uncle Sam, negotiating the crowd atop six-foot stilts, leaned over to speak.
"Careful, buddy -- bolts!" he said. "They're throwing bolts."
He pointed to the curb where Coney Island's Stillwell Ave. meets a sidewalk lined with games-of-chance booths and fried-food vendors. Sure enough, between a muddy puddle of rainwater and a baby's abandoned pacifier lay a single steel bolt about three inches long and heavy enough to do serious damage.
"That one just missed you," said Uncle Sam. "Got to keep your head up."
He staggered off. Whether wrath or envy prompted some lunatic to set that screw loose and hurdling toward the head of an unsuspecting reporter, I'll never know; all seven of the deadly sins were well represented in South Brooklyn. But though greed, lust and pride lurked around every corner and sloth waited patiently for the post-event hangover, gluttony was the order of the day on Friday.
In the main event, reigning champion Joey Chestnut and Japanese gastrolegend Takeru Kobayashi ate their way to a tie, each contestant devouring 59 franks in 10 minutes. Chestnut -- a Californian who set a world record in 2007 by eating 66 wieners in the now-discarded 12-minute format -- took an early lead, gyrating with brazen tremors as he pushed dog after dog down his throat. Kobayashi, all fingers and fluidity, caught up with Chestnut about 30 hot dogs deep, thrashing like a cyclone through his pile of all-beef franks.
"Competitive eating is the stage upon which God and Lucifer do battle for the souls of men," said a voice over the public address system. A little heavy for an Independence Day novelty event? Probably. But eating 50 hot dogs in a sitting is enough to make any man feel he is staring Satan in the face.
When the clock ran out, both eaters were swallowing Dog 59. The judges conferred and tension grew as the masses demanded a champion. Some cheered for Kobayashi, but most yelled for Chestnut, punctuating their support with familiar chants of "U.S.A." The referees determined that the pair would endure an eat-off to crown the champion. Five hot dogs, winner takes all.
Entering Friday's event, most experts favored Chestnut, arguing that the shorter format would reward his quick-starting style. Kobayashi, the sport's Babe Ruth, was able to keep pace with his foe in the 10-minute contest but not in the eat-off. Chestnut scarfed up an easy victory in the overtime portion to successfully defend his 2007 title. And the crowd went wild.
It would be easy to read the entire affair as an indictment of all that's wrong with the United States. The thousands of fans bedecked in patriotic colors encouraging Chestnut -- once competitive eating's Great White Hope -- could provide easy fodder for anyone looking to chastise this society for its indulgences. Americans eating recklessly and consuming conspicuously, surrounded by the remaining vestiges of a once-celebrated destination now withering into decay. The metaphors are too easy.
But there's no place for that sort of subtlety in Coney Island on the Fourth of July. The event -- now in its 93rd year -- thrives on the awesome sight of men and women shamelessly shoveling sodium into their systems. This is not the hour for sly stabs at the overweight American. The contest is a celebration, a flaunting, of the national penchant for excess that is often decried. Even the men harmonizing the Star Spangled Banner on stage paused near the end of the performance to create an impromptu refrain, repeating, "land of the free, land of the free, land of the free," before finishing their rendition.
"What you see here is about America, and the essence of who we are," said George Shea, chairman of the International Federation of Competitive eating and the contest's emcee. "This is a shot in the arm to the American psyche, which has been beaten down recently by the never-ending drumbeat of bad news.
"That was dietary derring-do. That was the triumph of the human spirit."
Shea may have been referring to Chestnut -- a man he deemed the greatest active athlete in America -- but he could have been speaking, however theatrically, for all in attendance. The Fourth of July in Coney Island is a day for revelry. It is a time to celebrate every American's right to drink heavily, dance wildly and, if unburdened by the shackles of decency and sanity, hurl bolts at people's heads.
With the event over and Chestnut the champion, the crowd meandered away. The thousands who had gathered dispersed as quickly as they came, leaving in their wake a stinking pile of empty beer cans, half-eaten funnel cakes and deflated thundersticks, off to enjoy the rest of their Independence Day.
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